Almost everyday I hear the words “this [object or product] changed my life”, or “this [product] will change your life”, or some variation on this theme. So much do I hear this that I decided I needed to deconstruct this ubiquitous statement and analyze it from a different angle. Perhaps more specificity is required so that this statement can hold some real meaning rather than just being a hook to sell infomercial products.
I recently watched an infomercial for a product that promised dramatic enhancement of a certain male feature, the results of which would “change your life”. In other instances, I hear of books, wealth building systems, spiritual or mental practices or certain life events that will “change your life”. Honestly, from a very core objective viewpoint, anything or everything can change your life, or at least the course of your life, temporarily or permanently, and many times in a year, month or even the same week. The atoms in your body are recycling and rebuilding your organs regularly and you can’t even feel it. Perhaps it is possible that a life can change 10 times in an hour. But is it “LIFE” that is changing, or the circumstance or event, or just the perspective you give to it? Here are some questions you can ask.
What has changed exactly?
After you come down from the “high” or “low” of the life changing shift or event, take a moment to analyze it. Was it your “LIFE” that changed, or was it how you are thinking about life? Did you actually lose 50 pounds, and in doing so, did you also remove the triggers that gave you the pounds in the first place?
Was the change negative?
Did a major event like an accident or death in the family cause a shift in your routine, emotional or physical state? Did you lose a lot of money gambling in the real estate market? Did that life changing beauty surgery cause you harm and damage your organs? Was the life change “risk” foreseen? Or a complete surprise?
Was the change positive?
Did you win big when you played the lottery, and if so, did your life really change? Or was it just your circumstance for the moment? Do you know how to manage money better now that you have it? Are you happier, or just high on the winning rush? Have you overcome a major hurdle in your health or mental well-being? And if so, have your routines and patterns changed as a result?
Did the change stick?
Once you have purchased and used that product, successfully built your muscle mass using the exercise program, practiced that breathing technique or taken that male enhancement supplement, have you experienced a permanent shift in your situation? I’m talking about something that stays around for a year, or two, or ten? Can you with all honesty say that it has changed your life, or did it just temporarily change your viewpoint? Perhaps it was your feelings that changed? Did the burst of confidence actually produce satisfactory results that you enjoy each and every day? Did it actually make you better for it? What do you tell others about this life changing event or product?
We need a better phrase.
I feel we need a more accurate statement to describe this so-called life changing result to better distinguish what is happenstance, the expected results of using a product, or an event or occurrence that has forced the change upon us. Changing your life needs to be reserved specifically for the conscious effort we make to change the course of one’s life, as in a true paradigm shift in thinking and acting. All else is artificial and a misuse of a powerful meme. So here are my suggestions:
Some suggestions for more accurate phrases.
- Physical improvements (i.e. bodybuilding): “It will change your body” or “It will change your ego”
- Mental improvement exercises: “It will change your thinking”
- Product satisfaction: “It will change your habits”
- Wealth building systems: “It will change your cash flow” (sometimes negative)
- New philosophy, religion or practice: “It will shift your paradigm”
- Joining a club or group: “It will change your identity”
- Getting a facelift or cosmetic enhancement: “It will change your self-image”
- Attending a motivational seminar: “It will change your emotional state”
- Watching a touching movie: “It will change your feelings”
If I honestly look for life changing events in my life, I cannot think of too many where I could not replace the phrase with one of the suggestions above. I succinctly recall a piece of music that shifted the course of my musical pursuits and interests when I was in my late teens, and it was permanent. However, I do not call it “life-changing” as I still did most everything the same from day to day. I also recall times when changes in my thinking made dramatic perception shifts that yielded satisfying results. On occasion, those results bordered on life changing, but still do not qualify in my opinion. The life changing events that stand out for me was when I faced big choices that sent me down different paths and expanded my world view. This often was due to a process or a long term effort and not a sudden change as a result of an event or trauma. Life changing is not always exciting as the spinners would have you believe.
Conclusion
I ask that you take moment and notice when and how you are using or hearing the “change your life” phrase and analyze if makes sense to use it in the context where you encounter/exercise it. Think critically about how life changes actually occur, and if you are willing to pursue the real thing yourself. Try and think of it as a process of mini-changes that may result in the ultimate life change that propels you to your ultimate bliss.
